All Aboard ... Or Else!

After the last day in Hradlec Králové and after a considerable amount of discussion and gesturing in order to check out of the infamous Amber Hotel, we all headed to the train station with the rabbit hole to try our luck again. This time, however, it was to catch a night train to Warsaw. We had 2 sleeper cars booked and paid and were ready for this new adventure. And adventure it turned out to be. Luckily, we were on the same train with another project member or else we might still be standing on Platform 2B (the train to the station to catch the night train to Warsaw was on Platform 2A and just about to leave when we realised out mistake).

We had an hour's wait in yet another intriguing Czech train station. This time we were all together in the main terminal. It was neat learning about other cultures - the toilets where you had to pay for the opportunity to make them more filthy than they already were, the strange characters hanging around the station at night and last but not least, the large and intimidating cleaning lady on her riding powermop, going around in circles around the column when she wasn't trying to run over people in her path. It was finally time to move to our platform to catch our night train (this time there was no rabbit hole). As the train pulled in, we saw our companion dashing down the platform to the end of the train to get into the sleeper cars. We took off after him. But the train never seemed to end - it seemed at least 2 kilometers long. As we neared the last coaches, dragging our large bags and tired carcasses, we began asking which coach we should get into (or rather gesturing and showing our tickets). The Stasi porters kept blowing their whistles, ignoring our confused expressions and indicated imperiously to go further down. When there were no more coaches to run to, and with half the group still struggling to catch up about four coaches down, the whistle began to toot frenetically that the train was leaving the station! The porters were not helpful but at least they didn't throw us off the train (not at the beginning anyway).

Like the three stooges (but we were eight), we threw our bags and ourselves onto the last car as the whistle continued to blast its warnings that the train was leaving. Melinda was at the door, grabbing bags and slinging them backwards, grabbing limbs and whatever available extremities and tossing people and baggage behind her, unaware that the crowd was piling up like pigs in a poke. As the train pulled out, Keith was pulled in. Luckily the door on the other side of the passageway in the coach did not open, or the entire group would have fallen out the other side!

So off we traipsed to find our sleeping cars, like Hercules setting out on his impossible tasks. Our first obstacle came in the form of a female Stasi porter - the same one who had sent us all the way down to the end car. When we showed her our tickets, she signalled that we should keep going to the front. Melinda, always cool and collected - ha, ha - calmly told her she should reconsider her attitude. After vigourous arguments in 2 languages in which neither opponent understood the other, the argument was satisfactorily settled by running over the Stasi porter's toes with the largest bag we had as we grumpily stumped through the carriages to find our beds.

Our next Herculean task came in the form of a male Stasi porter. With a look that would make Hitler himself look like Granny, he demanded we show him our tickets. When we gave them to him, he snorted and, in a long spiel in Czech, let us know that our tickets were useless. As he motioned that he was going to throw the tickets out the window, Melinda again - calmly and cooly - explained his family history to him in no uncertain terms. Another completely incomprehensible bilingual argument ensued. Since Melinda refused to get her ducklings off the moving train, the situation reached an impasse that was only resolved when a reformed Stasi member showed up and began arguing with her companion.

After about 10 minutes of this, punctuated with gestures and glances at our bewildered (everyone) and furious (Melinda) group, we were finally given leave to look for our sleeping cars. Of course, service was minimal for us and no one came around to make our beds. That was an easier task than simply getting on and staying on the train. We took the task with pleasure and everyone settled in for a long winter's nap. And long winter's nap it was since we could not regulate the air conditioning in the sleeping cars. Everyone's teeth were chattering and lips were blue within the first hour.

Joel was disappointed that we actually had to sleep in the sleeping car and kept insisting that he wished he had his friends with him to keep him company rather than his boring travel mates (Melinda, Claudia and Grandma) who wanted to sleep. They told him to go ahead and chatter all he wanted - which he did until he fell asleep five minutes later.

We were due to pull into the Warsaw Central Station at 7 am. To ensure that we not miss our stop, Hal was up at 4,30 (a reasonable hour to get ready to get off the train). He banged on our compartment door at 6,30 and we tumbled out of the train at 7 am on the dot, under the scowling surveillance of our friendly Stasi porter. We were ready to take on Warsaw!